She is my Obsession
by legitdegrassi
Summary: He always wanted her, but will one night of going back to his old ways bring him face to face with her? Will she help him in his time of need? Will he finally get the girl he is obsessed with?  has bad language
1. Chapter 1

_I was always a secret Fitz fan. Sadly I think ( BUT IM A BIGGER ECLARE FAN) that if Eli never existed or they would have just stayed friends. I believe Clare could have helped Fitz with his…issues ;) and a like love spark could have come out of that. So, I'm a Flare fan, just__** not **__a big one. But I had an inspiration for a Flare story, plus someone on twitter wanted me to write this so I said "What the heck, Why not?" _

_My Eclare heart is breaking and I need something to get my mind off them for alittle bit._

_Anyways, some of you may not like that I'm writing this, I'm sorry. TRULY AM! _

_I don't own Degrassi, and I do use harsh language in this Fanfic._

**She is my Obsession**

_Clare_

I sighed in frustration; I can't get her out my fucking head. I leaned farther into the cushion of the couch, leaning my head back, staring at nothing. Music was blasting, dumb asses grinding against some chicks, beer cans being popped open, and smoke traveling throughout the room. I didn't know why I was even here, with these freaks, but what's sad is I used you to be one of…_them.___People, well teens in particular not giving a damn. I used to be just like that, not a care in the world; I did everything in the book. I partied almost every night, including school nights, got drunk off my ass, and went to school with a hangover. I was fucked up, I mean yeah I had trouble at home, still do, and guilt every day that built up making me feel horrible about myself. I went home every night, laid back and thought to myself, nobody would miss me if I was gone. I thought about the pills I had bought from a friend at a party, about swallowing them dry, and overdosing. I had so many possibilities to end…_me._

You want to know what kept me from doing just that? No it wasn't the thought of my parent, family or friends that kept me from doing it. It was her. The sweet innocent saint of Degrassi, the moment I laid eyes on her I knew I had to have her.

The first time I saw her was on the front steps of Degrassi, walking up the steps with her sister and her little Indian friend. I stood off to the side with my group of friends. When I first saw her, I didn't know at the time if it was the pot I had been smoking that was making me hallucinate, or my eyes were playing tricks on me. She had creamy skin, eyes that shined bright blue, but best of all was the outfits she wore, they were like catholic school uniforms, which I found very attractive. From that moment on I had to know more about her, when she would talk to me of course I had a reputation to maintain, so I was a bit harsh to her, but she was never hurt by rude remarks about her, she rolled her eyes and walked away. That was another thing to me that made her so special, she was pure, and a saint. Let's just say, I believed in god when she came along, I used to call her my sexy saint. I would watch her every day when she came to school, in the hall ways, lunch, and when she left. Admiring her as she talked to her friend at her locker, always talking about school, but I thought it was different. Not like all those other whores who only care about making themselves look good. But Clare, she didn't have to try at all, she was naturally beautiful. But anyways no, I wasn't some kind of stalker, she was just very interesting to me, and every day I would find out something new about her. The guys would always make fun of me of how much I obsessed over her, saying she wasn't worth my time, she wouldn't give me what I wanted, and sometimes they would even make bets with me, asking if I could ask her out and later on break her innocence, to see if I could. Of course I refused; I wouldn't do that to her, I would often catch her admiring the little silver band on her ring finger. As much as I wanted to ripe it off, and take her…I just didn't have the heart to. When her crystal blue eyes, that I secretly loved so much would catch me staring at her, she always smiled so kindly at me, making me feel…good. So when I would go home in the afternoons, thinking about ending my life, her blue eyes and her smile would pop into my head, stopping me. She doesn't know this but she…_saved me._

I smirked to myself, lost in my own world with the blue eyed beauty, when I felt a hand land on my shoulder. I lazily lifted me head, my blue eyes locking with another pair of blue eyes…._Owen._

"You alright?" I rolled my eyes, knowing he didn't give a damn. So I just nodded, raising a questioning brow at him.

"What do you want?" I asked, getting angry just by his presence.

"I just wanted to know if you wanted a beer?" I frowned; I haven't even touched a beer or anything along those lines since I got out of juvie. But memory's flooded my mind as I stared at the beer bottle, Steve taking his anger out on me, my parents abandoning me, and _her_. Without even thinking I took it, Owen grew a smirk on his face and left me, I sat there alone, just staring at the bottle in my hands, the sweat dripping from the bottle and onto my hands. Once I started drinking, it became a habit of escaping away from my problems, and in that moment I did think about going to my old ways. Using lust and drugs to cover up my…issues.

I shrugged; one beer wouldn't do any harm…would it? I stand up, looking around the room, and pop open the beer. I slowly bring it to my lips, letting the smooth liquid slowly travel down my throat, soon I chugged it faster, not knowing what has gotten over me. I felt alitte buzz, from how long I went without drinking…I knew I was in a bind once I placed that bottle onto my lips. I knew I would want more, and so I did. I made my way passed the sweaty bodies and into the kitchen where I saw the big white ice chest, but at the moment I wasn't craving what was in that chest. I looked at the counter and found what my taste buds were looking for, my body moved towards it while my mind was fighting against it. I picked up the clear bottle, unscrewed the cap and brought it to my lips, the burning sensation covering up my guilt from even thinking about going to my old ways. But for the first time in a while I felt good, I guess. It made me not have to think, I liked that. At least just for one night, not think at all.

I trudged my way down the sidewalk, not knowing where the fuck I was going. My whole body aching, not even remembering half of what I did. I do remember talking to some chick, all I know is that she took over, and I woke up half naked in an empty bedroom. I just got up looked at the time, which I could hardly make out, but when I left it was around three in the morning, and I don't know how long I've wondering around the streets but I couldn't care less. What I did feel was disgusted, I didn't want to turn to alcohol again.

I looked around the street, I knew the street from somewhere, but I was too drunk to comprehend exactly where I was or why this street looked so familiar. My gazed traveled to the ground, the fuzziness of my vision making me trip over my own feet, making me land on my knees. I sat down on my knees, too lazy to get up. I just stared lazily ahead, my gaze locked with a figure in the distance. I looked more closely; it was girl, standing there under a lamp post staring at me in disbelief. She hand short curly hair, I could tell she hand creamy white skin, and lastly I looked up at a pair of eyes and in that moment I knew who it was.

My stomach lurched; I couldn't believe it, now I knew my mind was playing tricks on me. There was no way, that Clare Edwards, was standing a few feet away from me. I just stared at her in awe, like I've just seen her for the first time. My breath became shallow; her beauty was taking my breath away. This must be a dream, but I don't care, I wanted…_her._ Her figure slowly started to walk towards me, but my vision started to fade, and her figure started to fade as well, consuming me into the darkness…

My last thought was…She is my obsession.

_**Authors note:**_

_(yes it was short, I know)Hmmm hope you're not too disappointed though . I think it came out better then what I thought It would, *shrugs* but it's all up to your reviews!_

_And 1__st__ before you do review, please __**do not**__ say you hate Flare, I really don't need rude/mean comments._

_Again, I'm really not a big Flare fan, and as most of you know (from my other stories) I'm HUGE Eclare shipper, I adore them. Let's just say Eclare is MY OBSESSION, I have I serious issues with them lol I'm alittle to obsessed! _

_But I didn't see a big deal in writing about Flare, because I know the couple will never happen! Someone on twitter wanted me to write this, and I felt bad, because I told her I would, and I keep my promises!_

_This Story will not be long…maybe two more chapters, maybe even just one._

_(next chapter will be a lot longer, I promise)_

_Well, follow me on Twitter! ~ And I need __**REVIEWS**__(PLEASE), if you would like me to continue this! ~ legitdegrassi_


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks for the reviews! And someone said something in the review…I just want to point out something._

_Fitz likes Clare A LOT! What gave the idea he wanted to Rape her? …lol_

_Okay well anyways, so happy you enjoyed the first chapter, here is chapter 2!_

_I don't own Degrassi. Also thank you to my twitter friend for editing this: you know who you are _

**She is my Obsession: Chapter two**

_Clare_…another dream about Clare, like always.

I sighed, flipping onto my back, on the bed. I groaned at the pain that shot up to my head, pounding pain that I haven't felt in a long time. I instantly put my hands on my forehead, and then rubbed my temples. I don't even remember how the fuck I got home, I just remember passing out at some dumbass party. I laughed mentally to myself at the thought of me thinking I saw Clare, under a fucking lamppost…I should be calling myself the dumbass. What would Saint Clare be doing out so late at night anyways? Looking out for shooting stars?

I let out a long breath, placing my hands at my sides. My hand made contact with silk? Now I know for a fact my bed has no silk…I don't even think I have sheets on my bed. I pass my hand over the material once again and feel raised bumps…polka-dots?

My eyes slowly fluttered open; I looked around the lavender colored room, there was a book shelf filled with authors that I couldn't tell you anything about, and picture frames on shelves throughout the room. I tried to make my eyes adjust to see who was in the picture but it was no use. Maybe it was the girl I was with last night's room, the thought of that made me cringe, there was no fucking way this was her room. No, her room probably would have consisted of skulls and full of black, just a room you would probably want to steer clear from.

I held on to the end table on the side of the bed for balance as I slowly got to my feet. I slowly made my way to one of the picture frames closest to me and picked it up. In the picture was a little girl, about four or five swinging on a swing set beside another girl that was probably around seven or eight. That girl had long-straight dark brown hair with a few strands of light brown highlights, she was laughing, clutching onto the swing as her mother pushed her, and her eyes were closed so tight from laughing so hard. The other girl was petite with chubby rosy colored cheeks, very long curly honey brown hair, glasses, and she was smiling a familiar smile being pushed by, I guess her father. I concentrated even more on the petite girl, she was so familiar, and I knew that smile from anywhere.

"Snooping around in my stuff?" the voice that came from behind me made me go stiff. The little wooden picture slid from my grip and the cracking sound it made snapped me back to reality. I muttered "fuck" under my breath, as I got down on knee and picked up the picture.

"I'm sorry" I said, as I was looking at the picture, the glass had broke, it made a broken line straight through the middle, cutting the family in half. It was _broken._ Just like me, I fuck up everything, just like I broke the girl I am for sure I'm in love with picture, which probably meant a lot to her. I see her in the corner of my eye kneel beside me, she takes the picture from my hand and stands back up. I stand up, and turn to face her. She was sitting on her bed, she took the picture out the frame, and threw the frame in the little garbage can on the side of her bed, then placed the picture on the side table, and then she faced me.

I look down, clutching my hands into fist. I mess everything up, everything. I look up slowly, thinking, knowing she was mad at me, she probable hated me. As much as I don't want her too, she probably does, like everyone else in my life. I look at her angelic face, and I had to blink twice as she smiled at me and patted the space next to her.

I sat down at the edge, and far away from her as possible.

"I forgive you." She whispered, memory's flooded my mind.

"_I need you to forgive me." I pleaded, I couldn't live with her hating me, I needed her._

"_I forgive you." She whispered._

"Thank you" I looked up and into her blue eyes, as she just smiled in return.

"Here take these" she handed me an aspirin, as she grabbed a glass of water she had set down on the table and handed it to me. She dropped two blue pills into my open palm; I swallowed it, and quickly took a sip of water. I handed her back the glass, and avoided her gaze by looking around her room. We sat there for a few minutes, in complete silence until I broke it.

"What am I doing here?" I looked over at her, and she raised a brow.

"Well, I found you outside my house last night, drunk." I crinkled my brows. "You past out, so reluctantly I got you up and I brought you in here because I don't really know where you live and I wasn't going to leave you there." She explained, and I just nodded.

"I'm sorry." I muttered.

"Why do you keep apologizing to me?" Oh if you only knew Clare, If you only knew. I didn't even deserve to be in her presence, she was too good for me…and I needed to leave. I couldn't continue this conversation with her, because I know I would become attached. I needed her, I couldn't even look at her right now, because I would probably throw myself at her and tell her everything, all my problems. But I couldn't bring her down that road, because the road I was taking is one fucked up road, one she didn't even need to witness. Her life is perfect, she didn't need me coming along and taking that from her, and causing problems. I cared about her too much for that, and if I needed to be mean to make her stay away from me and make her hate me, then so be it. I deserve _pain_. Even if the pain comes from the girl I love.

I stood up shrugging, and stuck my hand deep into my pockets.

"Come on, I'm going to walk you home." She said, as she got to her feet. I gasped, and I cringed from the word…_home._ I knew I would have to go back, but I couldn't bring her there…what if he? …no, I won't allow it.

I shook my head looking at her, ashamed. "My house isn't like yours, Clare." I panicked from the a few flash back, looking away from her for a few seconds to compose of my posture and panicked look in my eyes. "I don't want you to see that, I'm fine enough to walk alone."

"I will just walk you to your house, I don't have to go inside, but I am walking you." I sighed, and nodded making my way to her door. We walked down the stairs as she trailed behind me, we passed her living room which was empty. I didn't hear a sound as I stopped for a couple of seconds, listening to try to hear her parents, but there was nothing.

"You coming?" I snapped my head into the direction in front of me, and there Clare stood, putting on her coat, and holding the door for me. I shook my head, see what I mean when I say I'm fucked up, I should be the one to hold the door for her.

I walked to her and I took hold of the door, towering above her, and gestured for her to go first. She gasped a little from the proximity between us, and then she walked out with me following behind. I placed my hand on her lower back and guided her in the direction to my house.

The sun was blazing, but the wind was chilly making Clare shiver. I should have been more persuasive and made her stay home, and not come out in this weather. A girl shouldn't be walking a guy home? I shook my head, and shrugged.

I stared at her face the whole way to my house. The sun hitting her face perfectly, making it glow. I knew the way without even having to look. The many nights I came home from party's and passed by her house to get home, just as an excuse to maybe get a chance to see her.

When my house came into view, I stopped her from going any further.

"Thanks, for everything Clare." She nodded and looked down shyly. I looked at her plump lips that were twitching up into a smile, and she blushed. I lifted my hand to brush the hair behind her ear, but quickly put my hand down when she lifted her head up to look at me.

"Your welcome." She whispered, still smiling shyly and fidgeting nervously. Do I make her nervous? I smirked at the thought.

But I had to say goodbye to her, as much as it pained me to do so, I will.

"Goodbye Clare" I turn away from her, and start walking, not looking back. Until I hear multiple footsteps behind me, and my name being called.

"Fitz wait, hold on." Clare called, I turned my body halfway and looked at her unsure blue eyes.

"Meet me above the dot tonight." She said, smiling widely and tucking a stand of hair behind her ear.

_Cliffhanger…_

_Did he say…yes? Or no?_

_Also this was just a filler chapter, next one should be very interesting, and your questions shall be answered._

_If I take the time to write this for you, can you at least take the time to review? _

_Thank you_

_~ legitdegrassi_


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